10 things Harley wishes you knew.

This is inspired by Ellen Nothbohm’s book “Ten things your child with autism wish you knew….

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1. I have feelings and emotions just like everyone else. I don’t always know how to express them and they sometimes overwhelm me.   Talking about me or my behaviour while I am in the room is a very bad idea. I have autism- I am not deaf or stupid.

2. My parents did not make me this way by bad parenting. They are doing the best they can with what they know. I do not need to be medicated, punished or cured. I was born this way.

3. This is how God planned for me to be. It cannot be smacked out of me, nor will I grow out of it. If I am having a meltdown, don’t always assume that it’s because I didn’t get my own way. If my environment is crowded, noisy or action packed, my sensory system becomes overloaded.

4. I did not choose to be different. I just am. I am proud of who I am because I am unique. All autistic people are individuals and different to each other. Please do not pigeon hole or stereo-type me.

5.When you ask me a question….you need to wait for my answer. I need time to process it and may take more time than usual to answer. Please don’t hurry me, it will only cause me stress. I need to go at my own pace.

6. I need to complete my sentences in full. If you cut me off mid sentence or finish it for me, I will lose my momentum and get frustrated. This may cause me to meltdown.

7. If you are talking to me and you lean over and touch me- I may react badly. Please remember that you need to ask to touch me. I’m very sensitive to touch. What feels like a brush on the arm to you , feels like a razor blade to me. I  need to be pre-warned.

8. Just because I don’t look you in the eye doesn’t mean I’m not listening to you. I find it almost impossible to do both at the same time.

9. I see things as either black or white. There is no grey. There’s no point trying to make me see otherwise. I am only 9. I still need to learn the social art of diplomacy.

10. I am trying my best to fit into “your” world, so please learn more about autism so you can understand mine.

44 thoughts on “10 things Harley wishes you knew.

  1. Brilliant piece of writing, I’m sure J’s list of things he’d like the world to know would be very similar. If you don’t mind I’d love to use this idea and make my own list, with J’s help of course. 🙂

    • Absolutely!
      I think it would be great if every parent of a child with ASD could do this 🙂
      I can’t wait to read yours 🙂

  2. Reading this has helped me a lot to understand my own Family better, who also have Autism. I need to know these things because I suffer with mental health and am sometimes highly strung. I tend to jump in mid stream of sentences, when my Family are talking to me. I am a good listener but am aware that I do this.

    • I can relate to exactly what you wrote . I can be a bit that way myself .
      I don’t know how I’ve never seen this comment before today though?
      Sorry! And thank you for commenting 🙂

  3. Omgosh. I love this! My son hates to be cut off too! As his mom it seems to come automatic. With any of your kids you know what they like and how to treat them to make things run smooth. So it drives me CRAZY when I need to constantly remind family to please not interrupt him.

    I can relate to the eye contact issue too. My son hates when I or anyone asks him to look into our eyes. He tells me, I can hear you with my ears. The funny thing is, he can be in the other room playing and talking to his toys with music or the tv going, and still tell me all about the conversation his dad and I had in the other room at the same time. Even when I think we are being so quiet. So why would I ever think he couldn’t hear me?
    (btw – my husband and I will now text each other if we want him for sure not to hear)

    • Oh wow! Texting is a great idea! We will have to try that one!
      And YES, it’s amazing how they can hear you in another room!!!!!!

  4. absolutely loved it and I would love to post a similar one at our school so that people can read it if that’s ok with you, I will give you full credit of course.

  5. Oh this was so nice! I love it! Jay is older now and is getting better at explaining things. The best way he has tried to explain to others is by telling them that having Aspergers is like having 100 different radio stations playing at the same time in his head. He has to work really hard to figure out which one he should to pay attention to and which he should try to tune out. Sometimes he gets the stations crossed. His friends and teachers and other adults get it when he explains it that way! We really do have special kids who I have no doubt will change the world for the better one day!

  6. That’s amazing! It brought tears to my eyes. My daughter was just diagnosed and I wish that people in our life would treat her with more respect knowing now that her behavior problems aren’t her fault. Thanks for writing this.

    • Oh those early days of diagnosis are so hard aren’t they! I found that it took a while to get over the stupid things that other people say and expect from your child but that side of it DOES get easier. Hugs for you xxxx

  7. These are very good. There are a lot of autistic kids at my school and this is very helpful for me because this will make it easier to help them with projects and work. Thank you and keep up the good work! 🙂

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